Ultra Flesh

So I've been dying to see this incredibly cheesy, hopefully ultra-good movie since I saw a preview for it at the end of another classic film. Now I'm finally ready for the love that only a super sexed alien from outer space can bring to the otherwise doomed human race! It's time for "Ultra Flesh!"

Hehe, you can always tell how old a classic is by the dates they set as the distant 'future' this one is set in the early 1990's. There's a horrible crisis striking the world, all the men everywhere are impotent and the world is starting to feel the effects. I have to say I love the thought of a planet wide limp streak. At first they think the problem is sugar and cut off all sugar imports, but the president of that country swears his men aren't impotent so the President of the US (who's got a fake southern accent that reminds me oh so much of George W.) flies off to check on their virility himself - no, this isn't a gay title.

This is the first movie from the swinging 70's that I've seen where the men look nearly as emaciated as the women. Seriously, hip bones should not be the prominent anatomical feature on anyone, let alone men. I absolutely adored the dance sequences in the movie and the second one caps by bringing an interesting new twist to the term "flying fuck." Other than that the sex scenes are your usual 70's fair, highly stylized, deeply erotic and lacking today's hard pounding gonzo action, pure fantasy at its best. Sensual enough at points that they make this hardened porn reviewer blush.

Classics lines like, "Mr. Sugarman is an alien from the planet Freon" totally make this movie. And I nearly died laughing at the little green man on the council of elders whose overlarge head was constantly massaged by a luscious pair of natural tits. Ultra Flesh's power lies within her pussy, she has lasers that emit an erection power but is that enough to save the women of the world from a sexless existence? I'm not sure, but she sure did try.

To be honest there are just too many awesome moments in this movie for me to easily quantify. It's a sexy scifi tale with more than enough kink thrown in to keep anyone satisfied. My only regret - that the men in it weren't hotter, they were pretty uniformly yuck in my opinion. Even the acting on this one was pretty good, I'm seriously impressed!